We are as steel, born in flame, forged into what we are by the relentless beating of the hammer. It is the fire which makes us stronger, the hard times are when we are reinforced and honed. We are Japanese iron: without nearly unending work in the furnace, we would be worthless and weak. We all tread in shadow at times, and these dark times temper our souls; these rough roads are necessary to travel. We do not become strong in the good times, only in the most intense fire can we be purified and strengthened. We need the good times to refresh us, but even more we need the hard times to fortify us. We are made who we are by the struggles we have in life and the way we deal with them.

Wow, been a long time since I posted. I've been keeping busy with work and Kingdom of Loathing. The new Xotz is still long from completion, so I am not part of the great Bioshock experience just yet. Just doing my best to pay off my debts and stay afloat.

It's my birthday today, and I'm actually in a pretty good mood about it. Leading up to today, though, I was pretty depressed. I just seem to be treading water, spinning my tires. I know what I'm doing (recovering from college and getting on my feet), and I know why it's necessary, but it sure feels like I'm going nowhere. I was hoping everything would be different this year, but instead, everything's the same, only I have more responsibilities, in the form of more apparent debt and a cute little puppy. No luck at all on the girlfriend front, I'm afraid. And that seems to be the real measure in my mind. I don't know what it is, but that's the thing that really hits me. Seriously, I ought to be used to being alone by now, but there are times when it's still just really hard. But even though I'd been getting more and more morose all week, now that today has actually rolled around and I'm actually twenty-four instead of just anticipating it, I'm in a much better mood. Maybe the anticipation was the whole thing -- I wanted to have that one thing I desire (if you can't figure that one out by now, there's no hope for you), and the weight of not having it by my arbitrary deadline was crushing. Now that I no longer have that crutch beneath me, the weight attached to it no longer has its hold either. It's this lonely dark that surrounds me which seems to be my furnace at the moment; this is the fire in which I am forged. And, to (possibly mis-)quote an old Magic: the Gathering card (the Repentant Blacksmith, actually), "And when they put me to the fire, they saw for resistance I was made."

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