And so, we're nearing Christmas, by any account, religious or secular, a supposedly joyous time of year. And what mood am I in? Angry and depressed.

First off, all this stupid togetherness, seeing my brother with his girlfriend and all the other happy couples around serves only to feed my envy and remind me of how terribly alone I am. Then I come and find out that one side of my family has scheduled their Christmas celebration for New Years' Day. That pretty much guarantees that I won't be able to make it. It's bloody New Years'. I'm going to be out all night with my friends. I am not going to be in any kind of shape to drive three hours down highways and county roads to get to my grandparents' house by noon. Simply not going to happen. I just got done catching hell because I tried to do something nice for one of my friends, only it turned out not to be what they would have liked me to do at all. And, of course, just to top things off, my grandmother died last year around this time. *sigh* This just is not one of my favorite times of year any more.

Can anybody out there offer advice as to where I can find some of this "Christmas spirit" stuff? I need a reminder as to what we're celebrating. A real example of why this is the celebration of the savior's birth and why he'd want to come down and save us poor, benighted bastards anyway.

2 Comments:

• At 12:38 AM, December 12, 2005,  Avvy said…

  I'm sure this isn't healthy to dwell on, but the more I think about things, the madder I'm getting.

   

• At 1:30 AM, December 12, 2005,  Anonymous said…

  Know how you feel exactly. Yep. Spent the last 3 christmas breaks with Bill. In fact, my most treasured memories circle around my first night here in Omaha: our exchange of christmas presents (Nenya and The One ring, which neither of us knew we were getting each other), and our state of awe and disbelief at finally being able to touch each other, after dating online for almost 2 years. Yep. Christmas is pretty cursed for me this year. It doesn't help that two of my online buddies have announced their engagement this week, and that two more have an actual wedding coming up shortly after the new year. I'm almost glad I don't have the funds to go to it. I would if I could--they are my friends... but when I recieved the invitation last year, I was invited to come... with Bill. >_< Baksdfjaskdfjsdfasdhfkasdjklfjasdklfjasdklgjaklsdjfklasdjfklasdjflkasdgfjkhgfaskljfkldasjfkasdljfklasdjfklasdjf. Add on top of this my dad just having surgery, with my best friend's grandfather fading fast... yeah,I know how you feel. ~_~ *sigh* Christmas spirit = um, no.

   

Post a Comment

<< Home